The Diary, and the Lullaby
by AkiHoshiro
Summary: Yuki comes across a diary belonging to one of his housemates. What will he think when he opens it to find something he may, or may not want to see?
1. All the Pretty little Horses

_"Hush-a-bye  
Don't you cry  
Go to sleep, my little baby.  
When you wake,  
you shall have,  
all the pretty little h-"_

"Honda-San?" Tohru froze in place. Horrified at the fact she had been caught singing to herself. She immediately closed the tiny pink book, took a second to recuperate, and then she turned around to face him, putting the little notebook behind her back.

"Ah! Y-Yuki-Kun! I-I'm sorry!" She giggled nervously and blushed. She was even _more_ embarrassed that it had been _Yuki_ hearing her sing to herself. She may have been able to handle it if Shigure were to hear her; though, Yuki, and Kyo, that was just straight out _humiliating!_

Yuki's curiosity showed as he peeked behind Tohru to see what she was hiding from him. It seemed to be a tiny, pink, booklet that read the word 'diary.' He bit his lip to hide his amusement. _How cute!_ He thought to himself as he turned his head to the side.

Contemplating the surroundings, Tohru was lost in confusion. They were in her room? Yuki never went into Tohru's room without-at the very least-knocking first! Not that she minded, she was just simply shocked. It was way out of his character. Her face was flushed. It was bad enough that he had heard her singing, but now he got to see her _room!_ Her room looked like a five year olds' room.

Stuffed animals all over the place; pretty pink lace curtains and bed sheets to match it, and bright yellow walls. It was _HUMILIATING!_

"Did you need something, Yuki-Kun? Usually you knock first… are you alright? Did something happen?" He blushed.

"I _did_ knock," he admitted, "various times, actually," he added.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I was _way_ out of it! So what was it you needed, Yuki-Kun?" She said in-what sounded like-all one breath.

"Shigure wanted me to tell you that he's going to be out of town for the next week." He informed. _Boy, she _is_ out of it!_ His brow furrowed for a moment, _I don't want to pry… but…_

"Oh, I see." She smiled brightly at Yuki and then turned her head to the side, so that she wasn't looking at him anymore. Subconsciously, she let out a deep sigh.

She sat down on her bed and smiled up at him, "would you like to sit down?" She offered. He sat down beside her.

"Honda-San, is something bothering you? You know, you can tell me." He encouraged. _I sound like a nosy fool._ She looked at her hands that were in her lap.

"Nothing really, I was just," she paused and held very still for a slight moment. Her eyes drifted to the picture of her mother, which was standing alone on her desk, right in the middle. She smiled a sad smile, "I was just remembering things." She took the pink diary sitting beside her and cradled it in her arms for a moment, before standing up and putting it next to her mother.

She came back to sit down once again. She laughed and said cheerfully, "I'm so happy it's summer! No school, no worries!"

At this point, all Yuki wanted to do was soothe her. "What was that pretty song you were singing a bit ago?" Her eyes widened and she blushed.

"Oh, that!" She giggled. "It's just a song my mother use to sing to me to get me to sleep!"

_I have to try and make her feel at ease! _"Will you please sing it for me, Honda-San?" He asked her and looked at her for an answer. Tohru's blush had deepened.

"Oh, I'm not that g-great of a singer, so-"

"I thought you sounded great." He cut her off. "Please? It's almost time for bed and I could use a quick lullaby." He smiled. He knew it'd make her feel better, for anything having to with memories of her mother, usually cheered her up. She was about to protest, until she saw him look up from underneath his lashes and there was no way she could possibly say no.

_"Hush-a-bye,  
don't you cry,  
go to sleep my little baby.  
When you wake,  
you shall have,  
all the pretty little horses..."_

Yuki's eyes widened when he saw the girls eyes fluttering closed. He watched her head fall onto his lap, and he was in shock. He saw how innocent she looked when she was sleeping; she was innocent-looking when conscious too though. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

_"Dapples,  
and grays.  
Pintos,  
and bays.  
All the pretty little horses."_

He completed the lullaby for her and lifted her figure, while trying his best not to touch their chest with his own. He put her underneath the covers and stroked her cheek swiftly. "Silly girl…" He whispered along with a small smile, and he dashed out of her room.

"Nngh..." Tohru's eyes opened slowly, and looked at the space around her. She tried going back to sleep, but her heart thumped rapidly, and her breathing came in short breaths. She thought she heard something and her eyes were wide open again. _'What was that?' _She thought to herself.

She laughed nervously to herself. "It… w-wouldn't be that bad to go to Yuki, right? He'd probably be up, right?" She didn't think to look at the clock until she was in Yuki's room, scared to wake the sleeping prince. She looked over at his clock and it read 1:30 a.m.

She shook his arm and his eyes fluttered open, revealing beautiful grey eyes. "Nn, Honda-san?" She gasped. She knew she shouldn't have done this!

"I'm sorry, Yuki-Kun…!" She mentally kicked herself. He sat up and propped himself on his elbow, leaning over to turn on a very dim light, so that he could see her a little bit better. He squinted as his eyes adjusted.

"No need to be sorry, Honda-San." He smiled and he threw the blanket off of him. She kicked herself mentally a second time, _I made him get up out of bed just because I was a little scared! _He threw his legs over the bed and looked up at her, obviously still tired. "Is there something wrong?" He questioned.

She didn't want to say it. A high school girl scared of the dark; pathetic. "Ah, uhm… I just…" she went on and on, and then started her apologizing. He put up a hand and smiled.

"No need to be sorry." And then he added, "It's alright to be scared." She froze, obviously embarrassed. Her blush was too noticeable, which only made her _more_ humiliated. Seeing the look upon her face, he sighed, but smiled again, "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"He offered. She nodded slowly, thinking she might have been bothering him. Little did she know, he enjoyed it more than anything; now if only _he_ knew how much he enjoyed it.

He chuckled and lifted the covers, welcoming her in them. He thought nothing of it; just two friends being there for each other, although that wasn't how Tohru thought of it at all. Tohru fell asleep with a smile on her face, thinking, _maybe_ _I _do _have a chance_, and then her eyes went open when she just thought that, and she looked up at Yuki who was now sitting up reading a book.

_Stupid Tohru, who are you kidding? I don't have a chance with him… _She saw Yuki put down the book on his lap and stare out the window. _This is my chance…_ She closed her eyes in fear for a moment and bit her lip. She got up a little bit of courage and went in a little bit closer to the prince, grabbing a hold of his arm with both of hers, and holding it tightly to her chest.

Yuki's eyes widened and he looked over at her, for he thought she was asleep. Tohru had her eyes closed, but she could feel Yuki looking at her, and then she couldn't help the blush that tinted her cheeks a light pink. _Oh no, I knew I shouldn't have done something so stupid!_ Yuki didn't want to think about it before, but this time he was forced.

_I wonder… what she thinks of our friendship._ The word friendship echoed in his head. He never would have guessed it'd be different. Yes, he knew they were friends, and that was all he knew. He couldn't even think of anything more. He stopped thinking about it as soon as the first thought crossed his mind.

Tohru's grip tightened, her eyes shutting tighter. Yuki kept looking at her, he almost asked what was wrong, but he figured that wasn't quite the right thing to do. _I'm so stupid! I'm so stupid! _Tohru repeated in her head. Without noticing, her grip kept getting tighter, and tighter, and then, Yuki leaned over, putting his other hand on her face.

Her eyes went open immediately at his touch. She looked up at him. He was looking down at her with worried eyes. She didn't really know why until she felt moisture trickling down her cheek. She had been crying. _Can I get more pathetic? _She was _crying_ for Christ sake. Her heart pounded as she felt Yuki's icy hand touch her face.

"Are you alright, Honda-San?" He frowned. She smiled half-heartedly, and nodded. She could tell he wasn't convinced. _I do. I think I do have some kind of chance! I think so! _And then he was convinced when she smiled brightly at him.

He smiled as well, _thank god… I have nothing to worry about. We really are just friends. I'm so happy. _

So eventually, Tohru fell into a deep sleep with happy dreams, Yuki continued reading his book, happy as well. But what they didn't know was that they were both going to be heart-broken when they found out the _real_ reason the other one was happy.


	2. In the Diary of Tohru Honda

**Hey, guys. Some of you may know me as Rika Namida. The author of _Mr. and Mrs. Rat_. If that is how you know me, then this is indeed my new account! n_n Please enjoy, everyone. CHAPTER 2!**

Once Yuki was sure she was sure she was asleep, he carried her over to her bedroom, but still making sure not to get to close. He put her into her bed, and slipped the covers over her. He walked over to turn off the light, and found the book that he had seen earlier.

He looked over my shoulder at Tohru and then turned his attention back to the pink book. He flipped though it until he got to today's date. It read:

_Dear Diary,_

_Tohru here! I just spent my day with YUKI! He took me to his secret base…! After that me and Yuki came home and I offered him lunch. He ate it. After that Yuki and I talked about if we'd go back tomorrow. I sure hope we do. Then Yuki mentioned some things about the student council! Yuki and I are also going to…_

All Yuki read was… _his name?_ His brow furrowed. He skipped past all of it and went to the end.

_I'm feeling lucky… Yuki and I… we might…_

Yuki dropped the diary and put his hand over his mouth, and his eyes tripled in size. _Oh my god… _he picked it back up slowly. He re-read the last line.

_I'm feeling lucky… Yuki and I… we might… have a small chance! _

_Love, _

_Tohru_

Yuki smiled nervously to himself. _That could mean anything! _He looked back at the sleeping girl. She looked peaceful. He saw her tense, and then she relaxed… and then… whispered his name.

"Yuki…" He froze. _Damn…_ He thought. He laughed to himself softly once more. _As I said before… just friends. Friends dream about each other all the time, right? _He nodded to himself. Tohru mumbled his name a few more times and then let out a deep sigh, which seemed to rattle her whole body. He walked over and sat down on her bed.

"Tohru, please… I'm so happy that you love me, but I know you don't love me like that. So stop lying to yourself, _please_…" Yuki said to the sleeping figure. He sighed to himself, and looked back at the diary he had put back safely where he had found it.

He heard Tohru groan and he looked back at her. Her eyes fluttered open slowly. Her gaze fixed on Yuki who was smiling sadly at her. "Yuki?" She rubbed her eyes.

"Hey there…" He laughed a fake laugh. Though unlike Tohru, Yuki was very good at acting. He mentally patted himself on the back. She sat up and smiled. She could feel her heart racing. _I love him, that's all there is to it! _As if Yuki was reading her mind, he frowned.

_Stop, Tohru. Stop lying to yourself! _She reached for his hand, obviously worried. He saw what she was doing and moved his hand subconsciously so that she couldn't hold it. And then it hit him and he looked into her shocked, yet heart-broken eyes. He felt so stupid! He quickly grabbed her hand, reassuring her he was fine with it.

She smiled at him and then turned her attention to the window, disappointed. Now, her hand was just _in _his. She wasn't even holding it. Yuki had a grip around her hand, and her hand was just… there. She felt embarrassed for probably the fifth time that night.

She started taking her hand away and slightly rolled her eyes. He grabbed her hand with both of his. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her feelings. "Wait, Honda-San, I'm sorry, I was just thinking and…!"

She smiled brightly at him; fake as usual, and said, "Oh, no, no! I'm just tired, and want to go to sleep. That's all!" She laughed.

His grip on her tightened. "No, Honda-San wait. I didn't mean it like that!" _This is exactly what I didn't want to do; hurt her. Shit! _He screamed at himself in his head.

_I feel so stupid. Almost like the feeling when you keep doing something that annoys everyone, and everyone notices, but you. That's exactly how I feel._ She thought to herself. _But eventually that person finds out their doing something wrong. _And she definitely found out she was doing something wrong. She continued to pull away.

"Just go to bed, Yuki…" She muttered.

"What?" _That doesn't sound like my normal Tohru… WAIT. _MY_ NORMAL TOHRU?! _He kept her hand in his, refusing to let go.

"Nothing!" She smiled brightly. "I just think it's really late, and you should go to sleep…" She covered it up so that he wouldn't have his feelings hurt. Too late.

"Then…" he had to find some way to make it better, "can I sleep in here tonight?" He asked quickly. He was acting so strange; way out of character. She lied back down, and flipped on her side.

"Goodnight, Yuki…" She sighed. He sat up on his forearm and faced her with a sad look on his face.

"Honda-San…" He lightly put the tips of his fingers on the part of her neck, and trailed down her arm softly, and then he put down his head on the pillow, closing his eyes, but he didn't quit trailing his fingertips up her arm.

_"Hush-a-bye  
don't you cry  
go to sleep my little baby.  
When you wake you shall have  
all the pretty little horses…"_

He sang to her softly, hoping she wouldn't feel sad anymore. He knew it wasn't just about holding his hand; it was more; way more. Just then,

_"Dapples, and grays  
Pintos and bays.  
All the pretty little horses."_

His eyes widened when he heard her voice. He continued as well.

_"Way down yonder,  
in the meadow,  
poor little baby crying mama.  
Birds and the butterflies  
flutter 'round her eyes.  
Poor little baby crying mama."_

She turned to him. "Why'd you replace the 'he' part with 'her' when it…" She then completely turned back around to look at him. The silver eyed prince smiled sweetly at her. No matter how ridiculous it was that song made him think of Tohru. He'd never think to admit it, but it definitely reminded him of her. He could only picture Tohru crying for the mother, which she had lost.

"Tohru… its 4:00 a.m. I really don't think we're going to school tomorrow." Her eyes were huge.

She clasped both hands over her mouth. "School!" She repeated. He smiled.

"Don't worry about it. Skipping one day won't be that bad, right?" She frowned, but nodded.


	3. Tea Cups and Crying Tohrus

Yuki stepped out of his clothes and stepped into the shower. He had to think everything over, because none of this made any sense to him. _Tohru, why are you doing this to me?_ He didn't want to hurt her. He wanted her to be happy.

That is all he wanted. Her happiness. He sighed deeply, and closed his eyes, letting the water his face.

Once out of the shower, he got dressed and combed through his hair. Once he opened the door, he saw a sad, little Tohru at the door, with her hand up, as if ready to knock. He looked down at her, and she kept the same facial expression, but she was looking forward at nothing. Yuki tilted her head up to look at him.

Her eyes read several different emotions; sad, angry, embarrassed, scared… and of course; Yuki wanted to know why.

"Honda-San? Is something wrong?" When she slowly fell into the silver-haired boy, she cried. Yuki's eyes opened wider with surprise, for he was expecting a poof, and a rat to take his place.

Tohru; not seeming to notice, cried harder; loud, violent, sobs. Yuki; thanking whoever was watching over him, for no one being here at this moment… thought, unlike Tohru, Yuki understood what had just happened.

At the moment, he, for some reason, could care less for the curse. He was too busy comforting the brunette who was sobbing her heart out into his shirt. Her tiny hands had balls of his shirt in her fists.

"Honda-San… what's wrong?" He questioned for the second time. Awkwardly, he slowly put his arms around her in apology. _It had to be about her figuring out that we can't be together_… and then he snapped out of it, _hell no, Yuki! She doesn't like you like that!_ Yuki knew he had to believe that, otherwise… he may not have been able to go on.

"Yuki Sohma, I know." She repeated the last two words over and over again. In shock, Yuki's grip tightened around the girl.

He knew better not to question her, so he simply held her until she stopped crying; and boy when she stopped crying, if hell didn't just grow pretty pink flowers. She pulled away instantly and looked up at Yuki.

"Yuki, the curse!!" She shouted at him. He smiled down at her with a hint of sadness. To his surprise, she shoved him away instantly. Her eyes wide with concern, and mine wide with confusion. "I just stole you're first hug! I'm so sorry! Wait… we'll never talk about this again, and then… we'll just p-pretend it never happened! Either that or…" She continued, until Yuki had smiled and pulled her back into his embrace.

She didn't refuse, but neither did she respond. He held her close, as though if he were to let her go, the whole World would crash on the two of them. His relief, sorrow, anger, happiness, pain, anxiety… all open to see. She awkwardly put her arms around him and laid her head on his chest.

_Yuki Sohma… I…_

_Later on that night…_

"Ya' damn rat, don't call me stupid!" Yuki turned his head in frustration, but looked back when Kyo was silent for more than five seconds. He looked over to see Tohru wide eyed in the doorway with two cups of tea on a tray.

"Oh, uhm… Yuki-Kun, I didn't know you were back from your walk! I'll go make some more tea!" Yuki looked at her while she smiled and walked over to Kyo and give him his cup of tea. She set the tray down and then passed one of the cups to Kyo. Both of them smiling brightly as she added, "careful, Kyo-Kun, it's hot!"

Once again, surprise striking Yuki in the ass, Kyo smiled back at her. When the cup finally reached Kyo, their hands slightly touched, and both of their eyes shot open, looking down at their hands. Yuki froze as well, eyeing them.

Tohru blushed madly, and dumped the tea over him. Weirdly enough; Kyo laughed while Tohru was in shock. Yuki was perhaps in shock as well. Eventually, Tohru laughed along with him, as Yuki smiled at the two of them. _See Tohru? This is what you want… so again; please… stop lying to yourself!_

"Uhm, Honda-San? I think I will be heading out for another walk…" He smiled. He wanted to leave the two of them alone, so that Tohru could see, her feelings for Yuki, were indeed fictional. As where her love for Kyo… was as true as it gets; as far as Yuki could see that was.

Yuki then headed out the door to start his walk. Thank God it was Saturday, for it was already midnight. _Tohru…_ he smiled at himself and paused for a moment, looking up at the clear sky above him, _you just don't understand this yet… but you will. I promise. _

_Coming home from Yuki's walk…_

Yuki sighed deeply when he saw a light shine onto the lawn. Tohru must have still been awake. He looked up, and into her window to see a hunched over Tohru at her desk. He smiled and wondered what she could have been writing. Maybe it was homework… or…

~FLASH~

**_"Dear Diary,_**

**_Tohru here! I just spent my day with YUKI! He took me to his secret base…! After that me and Yuki came home and I offered him lunch. He ate it. After that Yuki and I talked about if we'd go back tomorrow. I sure hope we do. Then Yuki mentioned some things about the student council! Yuki and I are also going to…_**

**All Yuki read was… _his name?_ His brow furrowed. He skipped past all of it and went to the end.**

**_I'm feeling lucky… Yuki and I… we might…_**

**Yuki dropped the diary and put his hand over his mouth as his eyes tripled in size. _Oh my god… _he picked it back up slowly. He re-read the last line.**

**_I'm feeling lucky… Yuki and I… we might… have a small chance! _**

**_Love, _**

**_Tohru"_**

~FLASH~

He put a hand over his mouth. Once he got upstairs and into the girls' room, she was sleeping with her head on her desk. He spotted the pink book beside her, still open. He walked over to the pink book and grabbed it instantly. It read:

_Dear diary,_

_I'm aware now… of __MY ......................................... __I know now… and… I don't mind it. (..... = scribbled out-ness XD)_

Yuki's eyes widened when he couldn't read the things that were scribbled out. THAT WAS IMPORTANT INFORMATION! The next few lines were complete scribbles. Though he still continued to read to see if he could figure it out with what was surrounding it.

_I plan on going tomorrow… I don't think I'm going to tell Yuki. I plan on leaving in the morning at…_

After that it didn't say anything. That must have been when she fell asleep. He picked up the sleeping girl and placed her in her bed, settling down next to her with a chair pulled up and his head on her bed. He took her hand and held it in his own. "Goodnight, Tohru Honda." He whispered before falling into a deep sleep.


	4. Favorite foods and a sad Prince

**Hey guys . . . Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. xD Ahehehe ... But ...**

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEFFINATLY BY FAR THE BEST! Those of you that LOVEY the whole "Yukiru" thing ... are gonna shizzle yurrselfzz!! XD**

When Yuki woke, Tohru was gone. He sat up quickly, sitting on his forearm. "H-Hon . . . da . . . San?" He wiped his eyes and walked down the steps; no Tohru. His brow furrowed and he frowned, while thinking_ where in the hell could she BE?! _

_Meanwhile…_

Tohru walked into the store, and searched harder. _This HAS to work . . . if it doesn't I don't know what will! _She smiled, picking up the box.

Yuki thought of what Tohru had wrote in her diary, and it all came into place. _OH NO! She ran away! Or she could have gone to the main house to see AKITO! ANYTHING COULD HAVE HAPPENED!! TOHRU!! _

As Yuki panicked, Tohru came through the door with groceries in her hands saying, "Home," she smiled until she saw Yuki. Hiding the groceries behind her, she giggled nervously. Yuki gasped, _SHE DID GO SOMEWHERE! I KNEW IT!_

"Honda-San … what's that?" He stuttered. Her heart raced, and she started to sweat.

"Uhm, uhm, uhm . . . MY NEW LAUNDRY!" Before her embarrassment caught up to her, she ran out of the room.

Hours later, Tohru grabbed her bag of groceries and started dinner. Yuki practically _ran_ down the steps to see what the hell was happening, and he froze.

_She left . . . to get me my favorite foods? But, but, but . . . WHAT!?!? _Yuki Stood there for a moment, before putting his head down. _I was worrying all day, and all night about NOTHING . . ._ He sighed and then smiled, walking over to Tohru.

She jumped and said, "Oh, Yuki, I didn't see you there!" And then she smiled. He smiled back and then frowned as he turned to see Kyo coming down the steps.

"Hey, Tohru, what are we having tonight?" Yuki's eyes widened. He was just as nice to her as he was before. Then after a few moments, he smiled and looked down. They were meant for each other; Kyo and Tohru. If only Tohru were to realize that now.

Yuki looked back to Tohru and said, "I can't wait . . ." _Until you realize just how much the two of you would work together. . . _

Tohru lit up and replied, "Oh I knew it! I bought this especially for you!" He looked away and chuckled, now realizing that she thought he was talking about the food.

"Yes, yes . . ." He started, I appreciate that very much, Honda-San." She giggled, and continued cooking.

After dinner, Kyo, Tohru, and Yuki were all sitting on the couch watching television; Tohru in the middle, Kyo on the left of her, and Yuki on the right.

With the couch very small, Yuki could feel Tohru leaning into him more and more. Starting to get nervous, he looked over at her. Tohru was looking down; the same look she had when Yuki heard her sing for the first time a few days ago; depressed.

He tilted his head and put a hand on her shoulder. "Honda-San, is everything alr-", he caught himself, and then started a new question. "Honda-San . . . Come up to my room for a moment please."

He knew he wasn't just going to let her be sad anymore, and he wasn't going to hope that Kyo catches on to how sad she looks anymore. _He _was going to do something now.

Tohru's eyes widened, but she stood, as did Yuki. They walked out of the room leaving behind a confused Kyo. They walked up the stairs and into Yuki's room. Yuki closed the door and then sat on his bed.

"Honda-San, may I ask you something?" Her knees started to shake, but she nodded. "Are you happy?" Her eyes widened, and she blushed. She looked down for a moment and then looked up, smiling brightly to cover everything up.

"O-of course!!" He frowned and shook his head. He stood and walked over to her.

"When you were singing that one day, did you notice that . . . you were crying? I bet . . . you didn't notice." She looked down again.

"I . . . didn't notice." She whispered.

"Then let me ask once more; are you sad?" He asked softly, getting closer to her. She nodded slowly, and he put his hands on her face, and gently tilted her chin up to look him straight in the eyes. Her eyes filled with tears and she smiled.

"But Yuki-Kun . . . Lately . . . I've had things to cheer me up." His eyes widened as he wondered what she could possibly be talking about. Little did he know, it was _him._

Yuki smiled thoughtfully, and then so did Tohru. "Well then, Honda-San," he got even closer, pressing his lips against her forehead. She blushed a dark shade of red, and then he pulled away. Tohru slightly put her head up, hoping to get her lips with his; Yuki on the other hand, was thanking whatever was watching him that she didn't get the wrong idea. Though she did. . .

Later on that night, Yuki did the same thing he did every night. Tohru had already fallen asleep on her desk as usual, and the rest of the house was sleeping soundly . . . other than one; Yuki.

Yuki tiptoed into Tohru's room and saw her asleep on her desk again. He smiled for a moment, and then made his way over to her. He spotted the pink diary, but it was . . . _Under her head?!_

He frowned; his luck just couldn't get any worse! Yuki tried his best, and used his charming skills. He took a deep breath and then leaned down to whisper, _"Tohru . . ." _Her eyes fluttered open and she lifted her head slightly.

His lips gently went to her cheek, to her ear to whisper, "Come with me . . ." Yuki started to wonder why he'd go to such lengths just to get her to bed, and in all honesty he could probably just pick her up and put her in bed. Though for some reason . . . he wanted to . . . be close to her. He didn't want to do it for himself, he wanted to pretend he _had _to; that he had a reason, but in reality, he didn't have to do any of this.

Yuki's hands went to her waist, and he lifted her slightly. He picked her up and cradled her like a baby and then he put his lips to her neck. Tohru-in complete comfort-closed her eyes once more. When Yuki laid her on her bed, Tohru seemed to be in disappointment. Whether she was half asleep or not, she didn't want this to end, even if she didn't know what was going on.

Before Yuki could leave, Tohru grabbed his hand. Knowing Tohru was half asleep, and probably wouldn't even remember this in the morning, Yuki slipped his hand out of hers. Her heart ached, and to his surprise, she spoke.

" . . . It hurts . . . just as much the second time," Yuki's eyes widened and guilt caught up to him. _She was awake . . . _He repeated over and over again in his head.

A tear ran down her cheek, and then she was sound asleep. Yuki looked down, and then headed for the diary.

He picked it up and flipped to the correct date. It read:

_Dear diary,_

_I made Yuki's favorite today, but he didn't seem to notice. That's okay with me though . . . either way . . . I feel the same about him._

After that her writing was too sloppy to read; must have been when she started to get tired. Yuki felt tears falling from his own eyes now. He turned to look at the sleeping girl, and then he sobbed quietly.

"Tohru . . . don't." He wiped his eyes and then walked over to her. The tear from before was still there, and she still looked sad. Yuki wiped away her tear, and then leaned down. His face was inches from hers and then he whispered, "I hope this . . . makes up for it . . . I hope . . . this makes . . . everything better." He closed his eyes and leaned in. His lips touched with hers gently.

His heart raced, and his mind disagreed. _You don't want this Yuki . . . she isn't yours, _though his heart told him differently.

He put a hand on her cheek, and deepened the kiss. Tohru, already awake, moved her lips with his. Once Yuki realized Tohru was awake, he pulled away gently.

"Go to sleep, Tohru . . ." She blushed darkly; mostly from the kiss, but also from him saying her name.

Tohru looked closer, and saw something she never would have guessed she would see on prince charming's face; tears. "Yuki . . . why are you . . . crying," she whispered.

He smiled sadly and then kissed her forehead. Leaving the room and entering his own, he thought, _because, Tohru . . . you and I . . . have something that is unexplainable. We love each other, and I feel it; all the time I feel it. That sharp pain telling you 'this isn't right' I feel it. Though, Tohru . . . what hurts the most out of all of this . . . is we have different thoughts on these feelings. The feelings I feel for you, and you feel for me are the same, but one of us is wrong on it. You think these feelings, are romantic do you not? Tohru . . . I am not the one that is wrong._

**THANKYOUVERYMUCH!**

**XD**

**Review please? O_O**


	5. What Makes the Sky Blue

**This is where things start to really get interesting.**

**Er ... Unfortunatly... I have not thought of a way to end this story yet ... **

**I may need some help (If somebody would read this that is...) .. Though if there is anyone out there who is actually INTERESTED in this story (which I suppose is quite unlikely ...) Then please review .. or if you are more comfortable messaging me personally .. that is fine too. Either way ... I need help. :)**

Tohru woke in the morning feeling like the world had come crashing down on her. The rain against her window only made things worse; her heart felt like it was going to literally break into a thousand pieces. She laid back down deciding to skip school . . . school had already started anyhow. She figured Yuki and Kyo were already at school.

She had thought about it all night . . . the look in Yuki's eyes. She shut her eyes tightly and she could hear somebody sobbing loudly. She heard a girl scream, and then she heard something break. Only then did she open her eyes and realize it was her. She put her hand in front of her; bloody. Looking down, she saw the vase she had broken.

The door slammed against the wall and Tohru's eyes widened. She didn't move for she didn't want to know who was behind her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she shut her eyes.

"Tohru . . .?" Her eyes shot open as she realized it was Kyo.

"Kyo . . . Kun . . . ?" Her voice was shaking. Kyo squatted down behind her and then Tohru turned a little to look at him. Kyo looked at her with a sad smile, and Tohru turned completely around.

Kyo put his hand on her cheek and then pulled her into a hug. Tohru didn't even expect a poof, for somehow she knew when Yuki's curse had broken, so had the rest.

"Tohru, you don't need to try so hard . . . to stay happy. It's okay . . . you're allowed to cry." Tohru hugged him back, her tears soaking his shirt. For some odd reason, that Tohru may never know, Kyo was always the first to cheer her up.

"Kyo . . . I just don't know anymore . . . I don't know." Kyo didn't entirely understand what she was saying, and he had _no clue_ she was upset about the rat. "Kyo-Kun . . . where is Yuki-Kun?" At this, Kyo froze.

"I . . . don't know." And then Tohru pulled away and put her hand on his face.

"Kyo," she started, "Would you ever leave me?" Kyo's eyes shot open and he stared at the girl who seemed broken in every size shape and form.

Kyo started to calm down and then he gazed down at her, "No, never." He smiled and she smiled back; a real smile.

His smile turned playful and he tilted his head and asked, "Hey, Tohru? Have you ever wondered what makes the sky blue?" She tilted her head and then she looked puzzled.

"No I haven't." She started to look more confused by the second.

"Think about it, okay?" And then he left the room, leaving a bewildered Tohru sitting on the ground.

"I'm home," Yuki kicked off his shoes. Tohru heard him and froze. For some reason she wanted to run to Kyo. Tohru sat on the living room couch and put her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. Yuki entered the room and there was an awkward silence, "Uhm, hello, Honda-San." Yuki smiled, though refused to look at her.

She looked up and smiled a fake smile, "Y-yes, hello, Yuki-Kun!" She looked away and then ran to her room, grabbing her diary and flipping to the next blank page.

She scribbled down everything going on through her mind; all the chaos, sadness, anger; everything. She sobbed loudly while and her hand kept getting weaker. Every time she wrote down Yuki's name she felt a sharp pain go through her heart.

Yuki heard her cries on the other side of the door and he was ready to cry himself. Of course he followed Tohru up the steps to see what was wrong. He slid down the door and hid his face. Kyo was already on the case; he kicked Yuki away from the door and entered.

"Tohru," he whispered and went to her. Her teeth were clenched and her head was down; her hair falling onto her desk. Kyo lifted the girl into his arms and Tohru cried for what must have been the 30th time today. Kyo put his lips to her neck, "It's alright, Tohru," he whispered into her neck, "I'm here, its okay; everything will be okay."

Tohru clung to him for dear life and felt like she could stay there forever. She sobbed a few more times, and then, Yuki couldn't take it any longer.

He ran over to Kyo and Tohru and pushed Kyo away. Tohru fell forward into Yuki, though her eyes kept wandering for her Kyo-Kun. When Kyo noticed this, his heart raced. Tohru looked at Kyo and whispered, "Yes, everything _will _be okay . . . Kyo-Kun . . ."

Yuki could feel his heart aching; things were starting to become intense. "Honda-San," Tohru looked to Yuki, and then, that was all it took. Once Tohru's eyes shifted away from Kyo's . . . Kyo knew it was over.

That was all it took to break him. He knew more than anything, he was no match for the rat. When Tohru looked at him, and he saw her eyes, and that tiny little blush . . . he thought . . . that maybe just for a moment . . . she may have felt the same. She probably still did, but he knew. Somewhere he knew that Yuki would always be the one.

Kyo stood and then slowly exited the room with his heart thumping with hate and sorrow, and his hands in his pockets. "Tohru," She looked at Kyo, "Have you figured it out yet; what makes the sky blue?" More tears ran down her cheeks. She shook her head and sobbed.

"No," she paused, "I-I have no clue . . ."

Kyo looked at her and smiled the saddest, loneliest smile Tohru had ever seen.

That night, Tohru cried herself to sleep; Yuki watched, for it was the only thing he could do. He sat at her bedside stroking her hair and then she drifted to sleep.

Yuki walked over to the diary and flipped open to the correct page; he stared at it; mortified.

_I hate it! I hate all of it! I want it all to go away! Leave me alone! . . . Oh Yuki, what would you say if I told you I had given up? That I'm no good . . . I'm not able to handle this anymore. Lately, Yuki-Kun, I've wanted to kill myself. Yuki . . . _

_ I've wanted to kill myself . . . and then you._

"What's . . . what's happening to her . . ." He walked to his bedroom and stared at nothing. Eventually he lost his balance and fell to the floor. "Tohru . . . what's . . . _happening to you?!" _

**Thankyouverymuch :) R&R please.**


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